June 20 my Uncle dove into his swimming pool, as he had many times over the years, but something happened this time. This time he didn't come up for air, he didn't grin (his "shit eating" grin) and splash around like he always had. This time his 14 year old daughter had to roll him over to see he was not breathing. This time his 12 year old son had to jump their privacy fence, to get to a neighbor (a Godsent neighbor), a man who was part of the local fire department, to come over to perform CPR. His wife was shocked, scared, and the neighbor insisted she get out of there, go inside and be with the kids, because he didn't want her to see the man she loved blue, from the chest up, unconscious and broken.
My Grandpa called my mom, told her there was an accident and he would let her know more, but for now he had been airlifted to a hospital in Memphis. He called back frantic, calling my phone (because, as usual, my mom didn't have her cell phone) and he needed to tell my Mom to get to Memphis, because the Drs believed my Uncle was brain dead. His wife was visualizing a situation where she would have to be the one to make the decision to pull the plug. How is that possible, the man she loved, the father of her children, in her own words, her "whole world" may not wake up and she was going to have to be the one to make any type of decision?!
People from all over the world, friends of my Uncle, friends of my family, my friends from every part of my life, everyone joined in prayer. I never gave up on this man, because my Uncle is one of a kind. There is no one in this world like him. He's determined (nice way of saying stubborn). He's his own ass-kicker. He is a motivational man, always the one family members turn to when they need their spirits lifted. He's a goof, a flirt, a crazy, silly, wonderful guy who will never be counted out in any situation. However, we were not given much hope.
Suddenly there were tiny steps, tiny little moments that restored our hope and our faith in his recovery. He was breathing, he had a halo (as my mom would say "that's the only way you're gonna get a halo"), and was healing, he was maybe hearing his visitors, maybe talking back to them when they would tell him they were leaving.
He woke up, but again the Drs & nurses were all very hesitant to give us much hope. Not many patients can come back from these moments. Not fully or completely. They told us he may never walk again on his own. They told us to prepare to have the house made over, for wheelchair entrances, a hospital bed for him to sleep on, update the bathroom to help him shower/bathe. His physical therapist stopped in his room one day, when my mom was in there, and asked her about my uncle's lifestyle. She told the therapist my Uncle was a lifetime athlete. Played football his whole life, never turned down a challenge and still thought of himself as young, always trying to keep up with his kids-- his very athletic kids! The therapist said "oh good! So he would want us to push him, he'd want us to make him work?" and my mom laughed and said yes. Yes, that is exactly what he would want, someone to challenge him every single day!
Everyone was trying to determine the BEST way to get my Uncle back, and his wife, his friends, his family were looking into every treatment center, every option they had. Then he was qualified for a rehab facility, in Atlanta, that was one of the best in the nation for his type of injury. The person that came to Memphis to see if he was a candidate for the facility said she thought he was going to walk out of the rehab center by Christmas. We know he is his own ass-kicker and challenges are always accepted and usually met with what appears like ease... and determination. We know if anyone can do it that it'd be my Uncle, but was she right? Would he walk out, on his own, by Christmas? He started physical, occupational, and speech therapy. He started trying to communicate much more clearly. Eventually we were even able to get him to eat "real" food, although someone had to feed him. He had moments that were clearer than others, and moments that remained quite foggy, but he was awake. The rehab facility took him to try new things all over again. Going outside, eating pizza, even a Mt Dew. He was given the opportunity to feel a little bit normal, but with each new introduction it really confused his brain. He would enjoy these things, but it would exhaust him. Things were getting better physically and he was able to do normal things, but mentally, this was still very challenging.
Everyone was trying to determine the BEST way to get my Uncle back, and his wife, his friends, his family were looking into every treatment center, every option they had. Then he was qualified for a rehab facility, in Atlanta, that was one of the best in the nation for his type of injury. The person that came to Memphis to see if he was a candidate for the facility said she thought he was going to walk out of the rehab center by Christmas. We know he is his own ass-kicker and challenges are always accepted and usually met with what appears like ease... and determination. We know if anyone can do it that it'd be my Uncle, but was she right? Would he walk out, on his own, by Christmas? He started physical, occupational, and speech therapy. He started trying to communicate much more clearly. Eventually we were even able to get him to eat "real" food, although someone had to feed him. He had moments that were clearer than others, and moments that remained quite foggy, but he was awake. The rehab facility took him to try new things all over again. Going outside, eating pizza, even a Mt Dew. He was given the opportunity to feel a little bit normal, but with each new introduction it really confused his brain. He would enjoy these things, but it would exhaust him. Things were getting better physically and he was able to do normal things, but mentally, this was still very challenging.
Moving to this rehab facility meant that either his wife would have to be away from him, in order to stay with the kids, or it meant they both would have to be away from the kids. Many people stepped up, his brother spent the majority of the time with him in Atlanta at first, and when he couldn't be there then his wife, my grandpa, would go, and my mom took a week away from work to spend with him in Atlanta. In order to get his trach removed from his neck my mother spent multiple overnights with him to ensure he didn't pull off his night-time breathing machine, the last obstacle to getting the trach removed, forever! Not to mention, my Uncle's mother-in-law, who has basically moved into their house just to be there and do everything possible for the kids! So many people doing the unknown, little & big, things that we can not imagine getting through this time without their help! Everyone stepped up because as much as the recovery would fall on my Uncle's own lap, it was going to take a village to ensure all the moving parts moved together to help him recover.
His physical recovery has been amazing, truly amazing! But his brain's recovery was never so quick. A struggle for him, truly frustrating, as well as a struggle for his family. Seven blurry years just weren't adjusting or focusing, and we didn't know if we'd ever get him back, totally and completely. When my mother visited him she would try to tell him about my children. He used to make comments like how being a grandma was my mom's calling, so we know he once knew about my babies, but now, when she would show him pictures-- or when we would FaceTime-- you could tell he maybe struggled to remember or would just nod along to make us think he knew, but he didn't know them. This isn't shocking, he had a terrible brain injury and the fogginess was obviously going to be a task we had to overcome. How much he remembered depended on the day of the week, the type of therapy he had that day, how much sleep he got, the type of mood he was in. It was challenging for us to give him space to "figure out his mind" (that's a saying that my mom & grandma had told me he had said when he was little) because the guy we once knew was so full of life and memories and excitement. The introduction of new people and new things (either completely new or "new to him") was not necessary and certainly not helpful as it would frustrate him or exhaust him. We had to wait for him to figure out his mind. Keep the faith, keep hoping something would click, keep praying for recovery.
One day I received a text message from my Uncle's wife saying "something changed" and my Uncle seemed way more alert, something clicked, something was kind of working differently, but for the better!!
There are still obstacles to be had, but suddenly some things seemed to finally come in focus for him and again we were given the gift of hope. Even his therapists said they believe he will prove the doubters wrong and there is hope for so much more than what they expected. Again, we were seeing things we didn't know would ever be possible again and suddenly... Suddenly we are counting down the days until he graduates from his rehab facility and comes home!!
One day I received a text message from my Uncle's wife saying "something changed" and my Uncle seemed way more alert, something clicked, something was kind of working differently, but for the better!!
There are still obstacles to be had, but suddenly some things seemed to finally come in focus for him and again we were given the gift of hope. Even his therapists said they believe he will prove the doubters wrong and there is hope for so much more than what they expected. Again, we were seeing things we didn't know would ever be possible again and suddenly... Suddenly we are counting down the days until he graduates from his rehab facility and comes home!!
Every single person that came together for our family, that gave us hope, sent your prayers, thought of us all during this trying time, you have been a very important part of the puzzle. You have helped the family overcome this test. Are we completely in the clear? Not quite, but the good news is always our focus. He will be home for his son's 13th birthday, he will be home for Christmas & New Years. He will home with his family and we are so very thankful! Never give up, always keep the faith, where there's a will there's a way, and all the other cliche' sayings are true. Thank the good Lord for answered prayers.
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