Mom of toddlers, when someone asks me to describe myself I am "a mom of two toddlers." Depending on the day I may describe those toddlers as adorable, sweet, funny, amazing... crazy, exhausting, ridiculous. They're toddlers, after all, they are ALL those things, at any given moment, and fifteen times throughout the day. Sometimes I just want five minutes of peace.
Don't get me wrong, I do cherish my time with them, after all I am a working mom who does not get infinite hours being at their beck-&-call. I hate the idea of complaining about the time I do get with them, because I have so much mom guilt for having to leave them for 8+ hours a day. I am not perfect and neither are my kiddos, which is why, sometimes, I just need five peaceful minutes.
Let's paint the picture: It's 8PM on Friday night and my husband is at work. I have bathed the children and placed them in bed with a movie to watch. I sneak off to the shower so I can wash away another exhausting day. Let's be honest, the shower is the most peaceful place. The calming sounds of the hot water that steams up the entire room, if you're lucky enough to get to shut the door while you shower, that is. See, very seldom do I get to close the door, or if I do get to close it rarely does it stay that way. These toddlers know how to get in and they always do. Other times, like this particular Friday, I left it open so I could keep my mom ears in high alert. After all, they are alone in the house. I probably didn't need to actually leave the door open because I can hear them perfectly fine. I just can't figure out what I am hearing. Are those piercing screams the sound of happy toddlers, doing something they shouldn't be doing, but having lots of fun? Are those ear piercing screams the sound of a toddler yelling out for help because her brother is actually causing her physical pain or harm? When it does go silent, is it because one of the children is unconscious? dead? or maybe whispering his apologies so she doesn't rat him out for causing her extreme physical pain? I shower, as quick as I can, trying not to forget to rinse the conditioner out of my hair, again! No one is bleeding, no one is hurt, but lots of noise, so much noise. Why is bedtime so loud? I text my husband, "why can't I shower in peace?" He doesn't have an answer. It's not often that he's home alone with the kids these days during bedtime routine. This used to be his problem when I worked late, but then again, they're just now TWO and THREE years old. They didn't used to BOTH be so mobile, so independent, so strong-willed, so ... threenager/toddlerific! And then, finally, we sleep.
Now, now it is Saturday. Daddy goes to sleep and I attempted a trip to Walmart with both children. Once we got in the door everything was fine, but let's just say we spent 3 minutes standing by the carts at the front of the store causing quite a scene. This toddler didn't want to ride in the seat, that toddler didn't even want to come out of the parking lot. One stood by the crosswalk crying, the other fought me as I attempted to reason with her about where she was going to sit. I get him away from the crosswalk, just long enough for him to realize why she's crying and then he joins her. He's not going to ride in the seat either, not if he has anything to say about it. It felt like eternity, with all eyes on us. We get inside the door, we make our way through the store causing very few scenes, and then she says those words. "I need to go potty"... of course you do, my sweet 2 years-5mos-3wks old child. You potty trained yourself, through your own desire, without any help from us, because diapers are so much more convenient when you need to run errands or take road trips, but you did it! And you're doing so great, so yes, let me push this cart full of groceries to the restroom door and take you and your brother to go potty.
When it's all said and done, we come home and there seems to be a bunch of meltdowns. Meltdowns that don't make any sense. Except that these toddlers must be exhausted. You can't make them understand that all they need is a nap. Instead, though, she passes out for a quick 30min power nap, while he's still wide awake and destroying my house. Then they're both awake and there is lunch to be had. He doesn't want macaroni and cheese, he wants meatballs. She doesn't want meatballs, she wants mac&cheese. No naps were had today, not enough with both of them asleep and peace in the house. Instead I am in charge of doing four loads of laundry, picking up around the house, I've made them breakfast, and a lunch they didn't eat, and no nap time to give me five peaceful minutes to wrap my brain around what I am going to make for dinner. They get pizza. I'm done.
The children haven't napped and they are clearly exhausted. You can't reason with these terrorist--- I mean toddlers. I am at the end of my sanity. For some reason he is arguing with her about something that doesn't even make sense. He is being mean for no reason and I really want to give him a piece of my mind, but as soon as I do he will turn into an emotional basket case and I don't have the patience for this, not today! Not today.
I ask my husband, please just take them outside to play. I need some time. He obliges and there is nothing but the dog and me in the house. I get in the shower... this could be my only chance for a peaceful shower, with the door closed, the steam to fill the room. As I move along from shampooing my hair to washing my face the bathroom door swings open with force. The three year old toddler needs to poop. Now. In this bathroom. At this moment. The husband says, "I think he has a 6th sense about when mommy showers," meaning, when mommy finally gets five peaceful minutes a timer must go off in his little body that reminds him he hasn't disturbed mommy lately and he must find her immediately and disrupt any peace she may be having...
I have many blog posts, ready to be written, but I just can't seem to find the five peaceful minutes to get them typed out. Until next time, folks!
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