Why Can't I Just Get Five Peaceful Minutes?

Mom of toddlers, when someone asks me to describe myself I am "a mom of two toddlers." Depending on the day I may describe those toddlers as adorable, sweet, funny, amazing... crazy, exhausting, ridiculous. They're toddlers, after all, they are ALL those things, at any given moment, and fifteen times throughout the day. Sometimes I just want five minutes of peace.
Don't get me wrong, I do cherish my time with them, after all I am a working mom who does not get infinite hours being at their beck-&-call. I hate the idea of complaining about the time I do get with them, because I have so much mom guilt for having to leave them for 8+ hours a day. I am not perfect and neither are my kiddos, which is why, sometimes, I just need five peaceful minutes.
Let's paint the picture: It's 8PM on Friday night and my husband is at work. I have bathed the children and placed them in bed with a movie to watch. I sneak off to the shower so I can wash away another exhausting day. Let's be honest, the shower is the most peaceful place. The calming sounds of the hot water that steams up the entire room, if you're lucky enough to get to shut the door while you shower, that is. See, very seldom do I get to close the door, or if I do get to close it rarely does it stay that way. These toddlers know how to get in and they always do. Other times, like this particular Friday, I left it open so I could keep my mom ears in high alert. After all, they are alone in the house. I probably didn't need to actually leave the door open because I can hear them perfectly fine. I just can't figure out what I am hearing. Are those piercing screams the sound of happy toddlers, doing something they shouldn't be doing, but having lots of fun? Are those ear piercing screams the sound of a toddler yelling out for help because her brother is actually causing her physical pain or harm? When it does go silent, is it because one of the children is unconscious? dead? or maybe whispering his apologies so she doesn't rat him out for causing her extreme physical pain? I shower, as quick as I can, trying not to forget to rinse the conditioner out of my hair, again! No one is bleeding, no one is hurt, but lots of noise, so much noise. Why is bedtime so loud? I text my husband, "why can't I shower in peace?" He doesn't have an answer. It's not often that he's home alone with the kids these days during bedtime routine. This used to be his problem when I worked late, but then again, they're just now TWO and THREE years old. They didn't used to BOTH be so mobile, so independent, so strong-willed, so ... threenager/toddlerific! And then, finally, we sleep.
Now, now it is Saturday. Daddy goes to sleep and I attempted a trip to Walmart with both children. Once we got in the door everything was fine, but let's just say we spent 3 minutes standing by the carts at the front of the store causing quite a scene. This toddler didn't want to ride in the seat, that toddler didn't even want to come out of the parking lot. One stood by the crosswalk crying, the other fought me as I attempted to reason with her about where she was going to sit. I get him away from the crosswalk, just long enough for him to realize why she's crying and then he joins her. He's not going to ride in the seat either, not if he has anything to say about it. It felt like eternity, with all eyes on us. We get inside the door, we make our way through the store causing very few scenes, and then she says those words. "I need to go potty"... of course you do, my sweet 2 years-5mos-3wks old child. You potty trained yourself, through your own desire, without any help from us, because diapers are so much more convenient when you need to run errands or take road trips, but you did it! And you're doing so great, so yes, let me push this cart full of groceries to the restroom door and take you and your brother to go potty.
When it's all said and done, we come home and there seems to be a bunch of meltdowns. Meltdowns that don't make any sense. Except that these toddlers must be exhausted. You can't make them understand that all they need is a nap. Instead, though, she passes out for a quick 30min power nap, while he's still wide awake and destroying my house. Then they're both awake and there is lunch to be had. He doesn't want macaroni and cheese, he wants meatballs. She doesn't want meatballs, she wants mac&cheese. No naps were had today, not enough with both of them asleep and peace in the house. Instead I am in charge of doing four loads of laundry, picking up around the house, I've made them breakfast, and a lunch they didn't eat, and no nap time to give me five peaceful minutes to wrap my brain around what I am going to make for dinner. They get pizza. I'm done.
The children haven't napped and they are clearly exhausted. You can't reason with these terrorist--- I mean toddlers. I am at the end of my sanity. For some reason he is arguing with her about something that doesn't even make sense. He is being mean for no reason and I really want to give him a piece of my mind, but as soon as I do he will turn into an emotional basket case and I don't have the patience for this, not today! Not today.
I ask my husband, please just take them outside to play. I need some time. He obliges and there is nothing but the dog and me in the house. I get in the shower... this could be my only chance for a peaceful shower, with the door closed, the steam to fill the room. As I move along from shampooing my hair to washing my face the bathroom door swings open with force. The three year old toddler needs to poop. Now. In this bathroom. At this moment. The husband says, "I think he has a 6th sense about when mommy showers," meaning, when mommy finally gets five peaceful minutes a timer must go off in his little body that reminds him he hasn't disturbed mommy lately and he must find her immediately and disrupt any peace she may be having...

I have many blog posts, ready to be written, but I just can't seem to find the five peaceful minutes to get them typed out. Until next time, folks!

A Whole New Chapter...

I have been working with the NWA Naturals since January (Martin Luther King Jr Day) 2011. I wanted to work in baseball ever since I changed my major my freshman year of college. Living in St Louis I realized baseball is life, but there was more than just a game involved in baseball. I started dreaming of working in Community Relations and Events in the small world of baseball. After graduating I took a few paths off course, but eventually landed on my feet, with a seasonal internship, with the Northwest Arkansas Naturals-- the AA Affiliate of the KC Royals.
I was hired on as a full-time staff member March 2012. Through the experience I have planned events, been a part of long hours, and even had to learn to speak up for women in this industry. It's not common for you to find a front office of a team that includes many woman, let alone working moms. Thankfully I have had another staff member be my shoulder when I needed support, someone who was able to understand the struggles of being a working mom, a woman in a man's world.
There are a lot of assumptions about people who work in the sports industry, Minor League Baseball, and most of those are that we are only here for games. Truth be known I have spent many hours in the office and the ballpark when the team is on the road and even when we do not have a team. The events at the ballpark are not things that happen overnight and the many hours I have spent here have been planning for the future. People assume you're here for player development or here just for the players-- husband searching, is a common misconception-- but my interaction was typically limited to asking a player to catch a Ceremonial First Pitch or the brief interaction with Naturals or Royals Alumni when they were here for our sponsors or fans. My job expanded from promotional planning to intern training to sponsorship coordinating to so many other tasks.
This job has taught me so much and has been an incredible place to work. I have had the opportunity to watch the future of baseball pass through this ballpark on their way to win a World Championship! While my job may not have been related to the players themselves, my job was here, at the ballpark and I have seen some great baseball along the way. I am a proud Cardinals fan, from the fans world, but the Kansas City Royals taught me about the world of baseball. I have a new understanding for what money cannot buy. I get what it means for someone to come up from the minor leagues and become the MVP of the World Series. Watching Salvador Perez go from the Catcher for the Naturals in 2011 to the MVP in 2015 for the Royals was amazing and fun! It was an experience like no other.
Of course, beyond baseball, I have learned a lot about myself and have built some lasting relationships, with co-workers, fans, and clients! I have been here since before being engaged, through my wedding, my pregnancies, and now my life as a mother of two toddlers. I am strong, I am smart, I am creative, I am hard-working, I am a leader, I am capable of anything I put my mind to... this was the first place that gave me the encouragement to be everything I thought I could be and gave me the support to challenge myself. It hasn't been the easiest ride, and there have been difficult days, weeks, and maybe months, but honestly, it's been something I wouldn't ever change about my life.
However, as most of you know, my role as a mom has been the MOST important role I have ever signed up for, it has been the most rewarding and fun, the most valuable and difficult role. I have struggled over the last (almost) three years as a mom in Minor League Baseball. The hours are long, the nights are tough, my babies are usually asleep when I get home, meaning the one hour or so in the morning with them is the only hour I get with them during long homestands! I have been blessed with a supportive husband and two amazing parents, but I am mom. I want to be mom. I want to tuck them in at night. I want to hold them & love them. I want to hear about their day. I want to have dinner with them. My kids are my everything and sacrificing these precious moments has been incredibly tough.
That is why I recently agreed to take a different path. I made the decision to start a new chapter. I decided the things I enjoy about my job will never outweigh the time I spend with my children. I accepted a new job. To be honest, I always knew it was going to take a lot for me to leave, I wasn't going to leave the job I actually enjoy doing and go some place that I wasn't sure would be the last job change for me. So when the opportunity came for me to apply for a position with a company that I admire, one I have seen first hand treat their employees with respect, and some how balance work & life, I knew I couldn't let the opportunity pass me by!

I am excited to announce that I accepted a job with General Mills. The company that both of my parents found their careers in. The company that has made it almost "easy" to be a working parent. The company that has supported my entire family through family sicknesses, deaths, births, marriages, and many other milestones! I am not saying there won't be trying times as a working parent, or that my parents actually had it easy. Simply put, I have felt a part of the General Mills family for all of my 35 years of life and I am proud to make it the home of my career, so my children can be a part of an amazing organization for their lives. It truly is a company that nourishes lives and I feel like I am leaving the baseball World Champions and heading to an entire Company of Champions!

It is hard to believe this is where my baseball career ends, but I cannot imagine leaving all of that behind for any place other than General Mills and I am excited (& terrified) for this new chapter in my life. I am thoroughly looking forward to family dinners, tucking my babies into bed, morning routines, and entire weekends off with my family! Thank you to everyone who has been a support system for me, has been there for my family, and has supported us through chasing our dreams!

Toddlerhood

Since my children are so close in age I always knew that we would never be in the clear. I always knew that they would eventually team up against us. I did not know that my youngest would surpass my oldest in devious, cunning, skillful ways of toddlering.

Sis is not far behind her big brother. Anything he can do, she can do, and she will. She is determined and skillful. We've always said my son is smart, he's very intelligent. He knows everything, you can always see the wheels turning, he is constantly learning. Sis, however, is much more laid back and chill. She isn't always willing to show off her skills and expertise. She is, however, very sassy and opinionated for a 15 month old baby. She may not be willing to show off her knowledge of colors or new words on demand, like her brother, but she is almost too quietly smart for her own good. As in, she knows things, doesn't show us that she knows things, but suddenly we see that she knows things because she has done something incredibly crafty for a young toddler.

Don't get me wrong, she isn't so crazy that we are concerned for her (or our) safety. She is just enough silly and smart for me to be concerned to leave her alone for too long. I turned the shower on in the bathroom, walked to my bedroom to get pajamas, returned to the bathroom to find my 1 year old in my tub, water running, fully clothed, shoes on, standing there looking at me like... "what?!" So now I am concerned that she is going to be too quick to the water running, learning how to flush things down the toilet, splashing around in the sink, or whatever the case may be... nothing is safe from being soaked! These concerns have never crossed my mind with my son. How can TWO children from the same parents be so incredibly different????

Memories I Don't Want to Forget...

Something ever happen and you think to yourself "I need to remember this forever" because it is either hilarious or heartwarming. Maybe it was just a touching moment that made you think there is hope for our future.

My son can be such a big brother!! Sometimes he is pushing his sister down, sometimes he is yelling at her (for Lord only knows what reason this time), sometimes he is being so loving and sweet...

Sister was asleep in the bedroom, my son, my husband, and I were all in the living room. My son had me laughing, we were goofing around, my husband watching us, just laughing at us being funny. Then Sis woke up. Let out a cry, and my son said "Uh oh, baby" and took off running to the bedroom. Both of my children have toddler beds, and Sis was just sitting on the edge of her bed and my son climbed up, gave her a hug and kiss, and got back down.

It was sweet. Very sweet, very heart warming, very beautiful and I never want to forget it. However, Sis... her smile, when her big brother came to her rescue was just as wonderful and heart-warming. Just as memorable. I hope I never forget these moments.

Especially when my toddlers start acting like toddlers again. Especially when my son doesn't want his baby sister on his (toddler-sized)
slide, playing with him. Especially when he shoves her off the slide and she gets a lovely bruise on her cheek, that will easily last for weeks, probably through to our Christmas pictures.

Crack of Dawn

This Sunday will officially be the 4th Sunday since the end of Daylight Savings Time. This Sunday will likely also be the 4th Sunday my son decides to wake up before the actual sun. I am almost begging for a growth spurt or maybe a switch to go off in him that makes him sleep more than just the 8 hours he gets at night.

People always said babies and toddlers will sleep 12 hours straight. I call BS, because my oldest has NEVER slept 12 hours straight. He's happy, he's silly, he's typically in a really good mood, he's fun, and he's adorable, but he does not sleep.

Sis on the other hand... 12 hours would be the small side of things, except it's not. My daughter can sleep anywhere. She will even let you wake her up for a little while and then fall back asleep when she feels like it. However, she can not sleep through her brother's 6AM wake up calls. No one in the house can sleep through brother.

Earlier this week he had us awake before 5:30AM. I made him some breakfast (a delicious cereal bar-- so yeah, I unwrapped the cereal bar. At 5:30AM that IS making breakfast), poured him some milk, and started his beloved Little Einsteins. Soon Sis was awake, and Daddy, so I was able to go get ready for work. I left on time and exhausted. Then, shortly after arriving at work, Ryan texts me a sweet picture of my adorable Princess. She found her infant bouncy seat, crawled in it with the dog's blanket, and took herself a little nap. Thank God I have one child that enjoys sleep. It's too bad we had to experience colic and baby icky-sickies before we ever got her to the point of being a sweet, precious, little sleeper, but I will take it!

Meet the Fitzetto's...

Welcome to the newest addition of my attempt at blog writing. A little about myself, well, about us!

My babies are 13.5 mos apart. When we announced we were expecting our 2nd bundle of joy most every reaction was "whoa, that soon!" or other remarks equally judge-y. Truth be known I was ready for a 2nd baby. We started "late" on having kids and all my life I knew I wanted to be a mother. I was ready to sign up for five children, had we not already been "old" when we got married. It was not necessarily planned to have babies back-to-back, but it wasn't necessarily a mistake or an oops or any other word you may think is the polite way to describe an unplanned pregnancy. We knew what we were doing and maybe it was sleep deprivation or the fact that my son has been the perfect child since the day he was born, who knows, but we were ready to have baby #2. We want to be a loving family with lots of giggles and craziness. However, that doesn't mean we are immune to the insanity that is toddler life.

Other than having two babies, I am a working mom. A mother who cannot afford to send her kids to daycare 5 days a week, nor afford to not work. Therefore my husband has taken the opportunity to work Thursday through Sunday. My kids get a part-time stay-at-home Dad. I don't get any husband time, nor is there many opportunities for any date nights, heck, we don't even stay up past the kids bedtimes usually!! I not only work Monday through Friday, but I work in sports, so when the team is in town I can work around 60-80 hours in a week, every day of the week, from 9AM until who knows what time in the evening. Sometimes I crawl out of bed and get ready while my babies are still snuggled in, not quite awake, as I leave for work. When I return, many nights they are fast asleep already.

My children are lucky enough to not only have their daddy home with them three days a week, but to have my parents near by for those weekends when both mommy & daddy work. My parents agreed to watch the kids when I am at games on the weekends, and my son thinks it is the best thing on Earth! My mom is exhausted after a few hours, but my children... we can't even mention "Grandma & Grandpa" around them, because my children will rush out the door, climb in the car, and eagerly wait for us to get there. In fact we are having dinner at my parent's house tomorrow, but I can't tell my son until I pick him up from school, or he won't stay at school willingly, therefore drop off will be very emotional, for all of us.

This new blog is about being a hard-working mommy with a part-time-stay-at-home-daddy husband, and our two perfect toddlers.